The suffering called ‘monsters’

It’s a dark Tuesday night. Outside it is bleak, the wind blows along the house and makes the wood creak. Armed with a can of deodorant I sneak through the dark room. I have a job to do. A task that only very tough mom’s can perform.

Little man’s room houses dinosaurs dressed as crocodiles. Monster sir calls them. I’ve chased a few away but they’re still there according to the toddler.

Monsters in the bedroom

For several weeks now the above scenario has been a recurring ritual. The toddler talks tough all day long about dragons, dino’s and other monsters but as soon as he is in bed he is not so tough anymore. When I think sir is asleep he is already on the landing again. I stumble back upstairs and put the little man back in his bed. ‘There are dino’s in my room that look like crocodiles.’ I say I take them all downstairs and then put them out the door.

He likes that. So I grab the monsters by their collars and throw them down the stairs. This makes the little man laugh.

Less than five minutes later, while I am sitting on the couch with a glass of wine, he is on the landing again. Sighing and supporting I waddle upstairs again. This time I do look angry.

Not that that will impress me but at least then I will have the idea that I am being educational. ‘Mommy, there is a lion in my room right now and it wants to eat me.’ I sigh again and think about why I went to the zoo with the kids again. The lion had been roaring in the enclosure and that apparently made quite an impression. Great then. I say I’ll take the lion down with me too.

He’s not convinced. Too bad! Of course I don’t let myself be beaten so I get a can of deodorant from the bathroom. That’s how I spray the lion out of the room.

Ok, the toddler has to cough a lot but the monster is gone. He asks what I will do with the lion next. (Anything to draw a line, of course) I say that the ferocious lion goes in the garbage can and goes with the garbage truck tomorrow. He thinks that’s a cool idea. This is immediately followed by a long story in which the little man explains in great detail what will happen to the poor animal when it arrives at the dump. Cutting off his story is not done so while he makes his argument I carefully walk to the door.

Suddenly there is silence, his story about the destruction of the monsters is finished. I am almost outside when he yells ‘I love you!’.

Do you ever have to chase monsters away too? How to do it?

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